What is for you, will not pass you

When you close the doors on your past, you are giving yourself permission to live the life you’ve been dreaming of. Our mind does this thing where it remembers the past with rosé colored glasses. Everything seems better than it actually was, and it may even convince you that everything was your fault. That relationship failed because you asked too many questions, you were crazy. Let’s flip the switch for a second. As women, our gut instinct is stronger than most and it’s the first thing we ignore when exploring a new relationship. We create an image of what we envision this relationship becoming instead of being present and accepting it for exactly what it is. Drugs, alcohol and sex all silence our inner instinct. Right now, all I can think of is Patti Stanger preaching, “Two drink maximum,” on all dates because drinking clouds your judgement, and as a result, we end up in a situation we don’t want to be in. It opens up the doors for being taken advantage of and being disrespected. But, we play into it anyways. I’m totally guilty of this too. We lower our standards so others will accept us and want us and “love” us. The truth is, it’s all bullshit & we know it.

I know most of you follow me because you feel stuck in a world you don’t belong in. You feel like everyone around you is making the “right” moves aka doing everything society deems as “right” aka fitting into a box. But that life just isn’t for you. You feel alone because you don’t know anyone who knows what you’re going through. You’re on an island and looking for survival tips.

Let me tell you something.. the day I let go of everyone else’s expectations and judgements, and most importantly, my past, is the day my life really began. I say “my life” because for the first time, I started living it like it was mine and no one else’s. The way it should be. I recreated my vision, and only involved myself in situations and activities that supported that vision. Yes, I lost a lot of people. Friends that I’ve had for almost 10 years, ex-boyfriends who still “wanted to be friends,” but it was all for a higher purpose. Letting go of any ill feeling I had for anyone allowed me to be free.

How did I do this? I lived by the phrase, “What is for you, will not pass you.” When I look back at the past, I began to realize that everything happened for a reason. It all taught me a different lesson. When I felt like I was living life on repeat, in a never-ending cycle, I looked at why it was happening. What did I need to let go of in order to move forward?

The common-denominator is that these people did not share my vision. I look at this life I’ve created for myself: I live in NYC, work my booty off creating something I love and am super passionate about and then I ask myself, “What would my life look like if I stayed in that relationship or toxic friendship?” I was surrounded by people who didn’t understand my vision and didn’t believe I could achieve it. If I stayed, I would’ve started believing them too.

Whenever you’re feeling scared of everything that’s changing around you, instead of retreating back to the old and familiar, reach for something new. Get outside, explore, turn your phone off, try something new. Open the door for amazing people to walk in. people who support and share your vision and get it.