How to Thank the Past and Move your Life Forward

How happy would you be right now if you stayed in that relationship 3 years ago?

 How happy would you be right now if you said “yes” to that awful job offer?

 How happy would you be right now if you said “yes” when everyone expected you to?

 I’ll tell you the answer right now. Pretty freakin’ miserable. If you were in a relationship you were unhappy in, what makes you think time will change things? If someone didn’t treat you the way you deserve at the very start of a relationship, what makes you think they will eventually mold into the person you want or need them to be? If someone cannot see your worth and value at the very start, you’re already settling. The more you tolerate their behavior, the more you become an enabler. You are in complete control of how others treat you, so if something isn’t right, and you decide to stay, you’re telling the other person that their behavior is okay. You’re accepting to be treated less than you deserve.

What does that say about you?

“You accept the love you think you deserve.” – Silver Linings Playbook

Most people settle. Settling is comfortable, it’s easy. It takes zero effort because you’re following someone else’s direction. People go to a job they hate, every single day. People stay in unhealthy relationships. People dim their light to fit in. What sounds appealing about any of this? I can’t think of one single thing.

At what point do people get fed up? When do they finally realize there is more to life? Sometimes I feel like they literally have to get smacked in the face in order for them to realize they need to stop living this way. I see it all the time with my girlfriends. I receive messages from them all the time saying, “My boyfriend did xyz,” or “I can’t believe my boss said this to me.” All I want to do is shake them. I don’t understand how some people are unable to see what’s wrong in these types of situations.

How amazing would it be to just say, “No. I’m not living my life this way?” You take the reins and control your life and happiness. Find your passion. If it’s not what you’re doing everyday, then find a way to make it that way. Dedicate the same amount of time you complain about your job or life to bettering it instead. What are small steps you can take to chip away at your unhappiness?

A lot of it has to do with your relationships. Look at the people around you. What are they doing with their lives? What are your conversations about? What do you do together? I can guarantee you most of the answers to these questions are toxic. Anyone you spend your time gossiping with and making unhealthy decisions with, you need to let go of. You might feel a little lonely at first, but that’s okay! It’s going to get better. Once you set the intention of meeting new people and improving your circle, the right people will come to you. They will be your support system. Instead of gossiping, you’ll find yourself business planning and talking about ways to improve yourself and your life. Once your mind starts focusing on growth, you’ll become unstoppable. Growing is all you will begin to do.

Your mindset is also a huge factor and a necessary component for growth. Accepting life as it is and seeing hurdles as just part of your journey makes hard times a lot easier. Instead of blaming yourself or the universe when things don’t go your way, you take a step back, take a deep breath and realize it is all part of the process. When things don’t go your way, and relationships don’t work out, thank them for making room for something else better suited for you. If your ex was unable to see your worth, thank them because it allowed you to move on and find someone who can. Turning down that bad job offer can be one of the best decisions you’ve ever made. Because you said no, you now live life on your own terms. You make the rules. You dictate what happens. You create your own happiness.

Look at where you are right now, and flashback to your life three years ago. See how much you have changed. You’re on your way to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be. Where is this other person right now? Doing the same thing they were doing 3 years ago? If they were a part of your life right now, where do you think you’d be? If you didn’t take a stand and refuse to settle, you’d be right there next to them, settling. Would your dreams even be as big as they are right now? I highly doubt that. Mostly because success and relationships are directly linked to each other. You cannot be successful and surrounded by parasites at the same time. Unhealthy relationships are like leeches, they latch onto you and don’t let go. You and the leech become one. Your sense of uniqueness and identity are temporarily hidden until you decide to break free.

Thank these people for being unable to see your worth. Thank them because they made your sense of self-worth even stronger. Wish them well but realize they served their purpose and they’re not meant to be a part of your journey.

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Photo Credit: Derrick Freske

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