3 Steps to Get Out of Your Own Head

You know that feeling where your mind attaches itself to an imaginary conversation or event? It’s like you have all of these thoughts running around in your head, and your mind takes one small piece of a larger story and runs with it, creating a chain of events that most likely will never happen. These imaginary events are the result of doubt, fear and past experiences and trust me, they never end well. In the end, you wind up with 100 different scenarios of what could happen. Instead, you should take a step back and live fully in the present. Here are 3 steps to help control your mind so you have the ability to live more freely.

 1. Patience

 I remember my mom repeating this phrase to me as a kid, “Patience is virtue, possess it if you can.” Whenever something didn’t happen exactly the way I wanted it to, I’m not going to lie, I freaked out. It was a full-blown tantrum with lots of kicking and screaming involved. My mom just sat back, watched me cry, and recited her infamous line. I never realized what it fully meant until recently.

 And I mean real recently, almost 20 years after I heard the phrase for the first time. Whenever you set goal, the first thing you do is plan your route. At first, that route is paved with Swarovski crystals and lollipops, because who wants to deal with a road full of pot holes and gravel? I call it the honeymoon phase. It’s like when you’re in a relationship and the first few days, weeks and months are flawless and amazing, and then you start coming across some speed bumps that really test your commitment to the relationship. The same is true for any other goal you have.

 This brings me to my next step…

 2. Persistence

 If you want something bad enough, you have to continue giving it your all, even when sometimes you just want to give up. The easy route is to throw in the mappina (Italian for ‘dish towel’) and start down another road. That seems the logical route right? When something doesn’t go your way, you automatically give up and start fresh, instead of figuring out exactly what isn’t working and devising a plan for a new route down that same road.

 Even though your destination is so clear, the steps necessary to reach it can be completely different. When you stop prancing down the Swarovski and lollipop road, it doesn’t mean your goal is out of sight. It’s still there. You need to accept each roadblock for what it is: a moment of inconvenience that is testing your dedication to your end goal. To achieve something you’ve never had before, you need to do something you’ve never done. You need to step out of your comfort zone, detach yourself for a bit. Take a step back and reevaluate what is really happening.

 “Your goal is to be clear about your goal and flexible about the process of attaining it.” -Brian Tracy

3. Presence

This is the most important of the 3 steps. When something doesn’t go the way you want it to go, accept it for what it is and move on. What does dwelling on negative circumstances solve? Absolutely freakin’ nothing! It’s just wasted time. I know you’ll probably need to do something to blow off some steam, so use your time in a healthy way by going for a run or screaming into your pillow or something. Anything besides complaining about your situation to every person you come in contact with plus their mother.

Training your mind is one of the hardest roadblocks on your way to success. Once you start to hear that voice in your head, take control of it. Recognize the trick it is trying to play on you and readjust its sails. Start imagining the best possible outcome. Say it out loud. How would you feel if that best possible outcome actually happened? Speak and feel it into existence and watch the universe start churning it’s wheels.

 

 

 

Photograph by: Matt Ferr

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